Healing for a rape survivor requires more effort than one can muster single-handedly

When someone is sexually abused the most important thing the survivor needs is a friend because the emotional battle they are in is tough.  This will take more effort than one can muster to heal fully.

So when she/he tells you about what happened be sensitive, empathise and be patient, let them explain themselves fully and no matter what you do, do not criticize them.

Immediately after such an incident many a time survivors go into psychological shock.which means they may be disillusioned and go through spells of uncontrollable crying, deep silence, refusing to interact with people and they may even refuse to eat.

Its sounds like a lot to go through but if the survivor gets the help of caring and supportive friends she will fare better.  They need to be encouraged to seek therapy by going for counselling especially during the first month because if they don’t they may show signs of Post-Traumatic Stress disorders.

The support offered to survivors of sexual abuse should be continuous, because it is also during this period that they need you to be extremely patient with them because trauma and symptoms associated with such cases do not go away easily.

Their self esteem is low and hence the need for you to reassure them continually and show them that you believe their version of their story and show them your unconditional love. Also, don’t treat them differently or make them seem or feel helpless

In the event that it is a close partner with whom you have sexual relations, it is important especially for healing and dealing with the trauma to be patient with them because they may not be in the mood following ordeal. This may stir the memories of being assaulted and the fear that came with it.

As a friend your you also need to encourage them to go for emotional and spiritual counseling as soon as possible 

For more information you can contact the Nairobi Women’s Hospital